Knock Knock. Who's There? THE POSTMAN.

My fringe came in the mail today. Yay! - Or not. It's brown, MEDIUM brown, not even dark brown =| I ordered black, because MY HAIR IS BLACK. Damn it. 

A big part of me hoped it might be a free bonus fringe (like a buy one get one free deal) so I peeked into the parcel bag to see if there was a black one in there too, but there wasn't. No black one, just my brown fringe and a little pamphlet with some 'great deals' on some items they have for sale. 

You can buy a checkered shirt for your dog for $3.99, a tulle skirt for $14, pepper spray for $4.95, a USB for $1.49 and a stun gun for $16. 

My mum is walking around the loungeroom reading over the pamphlet and after 10 minutes of her intensely studying the piece of paper then she looks at me..

Mum - 'I'm gonna buy the pepper spray and the stun gun. I wanna check them out.' 
Me - 'No your not.' 
Mum - 'At least let me get the stun gun. Look! You'd think it was a phone! It looks like a phone..'
Me - 'Yeah and the first time you go to use your 'phone', you will accidently use the stun gun on yourself.. and I aint picking you up off the floor if you get knocked out'. 
Mum - 'Haha, I just hope I don't pee myself if that happens. That'd be embarrassing. Look, I'm getting it....***long pause***.... I'm going to have to test it out on someone. The only way to see if it works is to test it out on someone, otherwise how are you meant to know if it works? Are you meant to wait until someone attacks you? No, so I'm gonna pick someone. I might pick that guy at the mall, you know, the drunk one on the corner that always tries to pick me up? Or that rude cow that always harasses people on the bus. Yeah, I'll stun her as she is getting off and *bird whistle* *hands clap together* on the ground.' 

Hahahahaha. You know that show Wife Swap? Do you there think is one in the making called Mum Swap? =|

Just kidding ;)


Anonymous said...

lol! mums with stun guns ohh boy!

Bury Me In Velvet said...

haha it reminds me of that sylvester stallone movie 'stop or my mum will shoot'


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