Cubicle Courage.

This is something that women don't really discuss but after today, I feel the need to bring it up.

Today really got me thinking about what will happen when I eventually move in with a guy, or get married. I'm really nervous about it because in all honesty, nobody likes to admit that women go to the toilet too! And not just that, we do a lot of things that men do, we are just more mature and more private when it comes to it - most of the time.

Behind closed doors in my own home, next to my mum and brother, yeah sure there are times where I've had a big meal at dinner and I move the waistband of my pants under my belly then my hands get to rubbing my tummy like I'm Buddha, but how fast would a guy go running if I pull that move while we're watching tv together? I don't do it to be a pig, I do it because it helps settle my stomach. It brings me relief.

How would a guy react if I burped after a drinking a can of pepsi, or even worse.. What if I.. passed gas in front of him? My mum & brother would just laugh and call me a little piggy and other things like that but I don't think I could ever do any of those things in front of my grandparents or cousins, let alone a guy I'm obviously intimate with!

Geez, I'm 22 years old and I am only just now comfortable enough to pee at my grandparents house. For years I'd hold it until we got home or line the bottom of the toilet in toilet paper so no one could hear my business. Plus I always made sure to go when everyone was watching tv or outside in the pool or the garden. Just peeing is something that embarrasses the hell out of me.

All of this came about today when I was out with my mum shopping. I was busting, so I went into the public toilet. I went to the very last cubicle, lined the seat with toilet paper, lined the inside of the toilet with toilet paper, sat down and waited until someone flushed the toilet. I dunno what it is that makes me so uncomfortable.I really have no idea how men can stand next to each other and pee against a wall - totally in the open, no secrets, no privacy. I'm too scared to pee anonymously behind a locked door if I know someone else is around, let alone in front of someone!! Sometimes I think I'd love to have that courage! Haha.

I remember this one time, I was at the cinemas and I didn't want to pee because women were talking at the mirrors while fixing their makeup, but I also didn't want to wait in case my date thought I was .. you know.. doing number 2. Sooo, I moved as far forward as was physically possible and SLOWLY released. It made as little noise as possible.

I was about 20 seconds into my business when a lady came into the cubicle next to me (out of all the empty cubicles in there) and woahh Nelly, she let it rip like a Russian racehorse on steroids. She was peeing so hard that I was scared she was going to crack the toilet bowl. It was disgusting. I was embarrassed just being in the next cubicle in case someone thought it was me!

In a way I sort of admire her courage so be able to do that because by the time everyone else has washed their hands and is continuing their shopping, I'm usually still sitting there waiting for someone to press the hand drier or flush their toilet so that I can go ahead with my business being unheard.

To have the freedom to pee when everyone is listening? That must be a relief.
Sorry for the 'disgusting' post, I just had to get it off my bladder. Haha.


Krissy said...

im really glad you posted this - youre not the only one who's paranoid about going to the toilet when other people are around, lol!
i always wondered what it would be like around a guy, and i've been with my bf now for 2 years and we fart and pee and poop around eachother and talk about it cos we're so comfortable, but of course at first i was like soo nervous about toilety things!
i dont know if this helps, but seriously, no one is "listening" to you pee... i know if im in a public toilet, i just concentrate on my own cubicle!
so dont worry bout it so much :) its something natural, everyone does it!!

paige said...

hahahaha you make me laugh :)
i have been with my bf for nearly 4 years and we have lived together for nearly a year and i am only now comfortable enough to fart around him, lollll
i am the similar with public peeing though, or if my bf has a friend over, the house is so small you can hear everything! so i do the old line the bowl trick too =P
♥ ♥

Bury Me In Velvet said...

Hey girls, thanks so much for the comments. It's funny that you both mention your boyfriends because I have actually lived with some of my ex's too.

I have lived with two of my ex's and practically been living with another.

The 'one' that I'm always on about, I could have done anything around him I was so comfortable.

The other two it was sort of the same thing.

I'm just a bit worried that will change because I'm getting a bit older and because well, they were still 18 - 21 years old when we were together. If I start dating a 25 year old then I'm sure he will probably be a bit more mature and 'proper' than my other exs. Haha.

I don't even know why I'm worried, It's just one of those things.

Thanks for your comments. Glad the public thing isn't just me.


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